The Birth of Velvet Goldmember
In answer to the questions: What is a Velvet Goldmember? How do I get my own Velvet Goldmember? & where in the everloving fuck did Velvet Goldmember come from anyway?
In choosing a drag name, some find that a name naturally presents itself in accordance with the emerging persona, associated skills or attributes, or a simple piece of wordplay with a personal attachment. Or simply a femininised version of their “boy” name.
In my case, I resorted, as is often the case in times of crisis, to a simple google search. “How to choose a drag name.” The following five steps appeared at the top of that page of results.
1. Experiment with wordplay. Punny names like “Eileen Dover” rely on wordplay for their effect—and these names are as funny and memorable as the personas who inhabit them. ...
2. Dig deep. ...
3. Find a defining feature. ...
4. Turn to pop culture. ...
5. Look up other names.
Experimenting with wordplay is something of a lifelong endeavour in my case, as someone who grew up with the influences of Victoria Wood, The Two Ronnies, Lily Savage, & Monty Python. All excellent British comedy staples, alongside a multitude of others. So, naturally I felt that Velvet would be something of a comedy queen like her creator.
Digging deep. This tip seems to go without saying really. When you’re already padding your hips, corseting your waist, & tucking (I won’t go into too many details on this here, but suffice it to say that there’s only a moment’s thought and care between sitting comfortably and wincing immeasurably should you not approach this stage with attention to detail, a lot of tape, and suitably reinforced underwear).
In the interest of digging deep personally to find a suitable name for my character, I looked to my earlier influences in characterising femininity or hypersexuality in myself. This included influences such as rockstars & musicians, like Freddie Mercury, David Bowie, Adam Lambert, & Lady Gaga; and comedians such as Russell Brand & Eddie Izzard. This culminated in a teenage Ryan donning red trousers, fitted waistcoats, flowing white shirts, bold black eyeliner, nail varnish, & an iconic backcomb of astronomical proportions. This was my signature look throughout my college years, and while it has matured, or at least mellowed, as the years have rolled by, its influence can still be seen today. So it seemed only fitting that that influence be marked in the creation of a drag persona. For me these affectations signified my personal exploration of my identity, and my early expressions of my gender &, at the time, seemingly fluctuating sexuality. At this stage in my self-exploration, the word “bisexuality” had not yet presented itself, though I knew that in explaining it, I understood what I meant, but did not yet have the abbreviated terminology in that one word. Many influential figures in my life were exploring gender & sexuality in their personas, and at the time, still were unable and unwilling to answer questions regarding their sexualities, and for good reason. They should not have been expected to disclose that information at a time when doing so could be detrimental to their flourishing careers, no matter the size of their platform. The terminology I had to play with therefore was a combination of “genderless alien”, “fluid hypersexual monster”, & the words: “I’m just me”.
Find a defining feature. I have many defining features, some of which I still do not have the mental & social where-with-all to actively draw attention towards, however, there are a few I’m happy to play upon in terms of exploiting them for a drag persona, and others that will, no doubt, reach my therapist in due course. These defining features are in fact entirely appearance based adornments, starting with my need to wear glasses, and ending with my love of all things sartorial & velvet.
Turning to pop culture, I have already made it clear that my influences mainly derive from the worlds of music & comedy. The ideal combination of these two facets therefore lends itself well to starting with Austin Powers, a hypersexual velvet-wrapped character built on a cheesy sense of humour, a clear multiplicity of sexual endeavours, & a time-locked fashion sense. And then, adding to this the genderless fluidity of characters such as Maxwell Demon, as created by Brian Slade, an obvious David Bowie rip-off, in the cult classic film Velvet Goldmine, named for the song of Bowie’s creation. This character is a being of high spectacle, multiple stage personas, bright colours, high heels, and all else that glam rock ultimately embodies.
Look up other names. I did a quick search on instagram to check for competing Velvet-themed drag characters and found very few options. Since her creation, a few other Velvet-named beings have appeared on social media, but are in no way comparable or similar to Velvet Goldmember in any way except name.
The name ultimately is a portmanteau of the song/film title Velvet Goldmine, and the Velvet-clad Austin Powers in the film Goldmember. Combining the high theatricality of glam rock music & the comedic world of punny humour central to the Austin Powers universe, the name Velvet Goldmember is born, and due to her highly influential parents, is naturally imbued with a sense of humour, platform boots, & the need to sing.
In terms of performance, I will be exploring in much fuller detail, the process of taking a name from conception to stage, in a separate article.
For now, let it be known that Dragged Up In Doncaster, a subsidiary of a larger project The Rise & Fall of The 21st Century Boy, started with multi-layered harmonies singing a version of Rebel Rebel by David Bowie, and ended with a heartfelt humourous monologue to screen about the perils of growing up queer in Doncaster.
Theydies & gentlethems, the bouffant bouffon, Miss Velvet Goldmember.